by Cathy Harris, Advice Columnist, DearCathy.com
I was single for years after a short marriage that produced two gorgeous daughters. My daughters grew up during the Ricki Lake days, when women would choose relationships over their children.
My children can never say that mom use to bring all those guys around them. Sure I dated and had fun, I just did not allow my daughters to see that.
As soon as they grew up and left home, then it was my time to do what I wanted to do with my life. My job as a mother was done. If you have not taught your kids what they need to do by age 18, then it's already too late.
Single women need to stop saying that they are going to wait until they get married to travel the world or wait until they get married to buy their dream home and other luxuries of life that they truly desire.
If you truly desire to do these things, then don't wait. If you continue to wait for a mate to live your dreams, then you might not never live your dreams. And don't forget that many times it will be your mate that will keep you from living your dreams.
But because you have lived your dreams, when your mate shows up in your life or if you meet him while you are out there living your dreams, you will be ready for him.
However, what you also need to understand is that sometimes it might be meant for you to travel this world alone -- without a mate. It does not mean that you are not worthy or that you are not living a worthy life.
I have talked to tons of disgruntled single women who have homes. They spend every dime they have on these big, lonely, empty, homes and can't do anything else but pay the mortgage, keep the lights on, and buy toxic GMO processed foods.
Instead, they need to sell these homes and downsize and get out there and eat good food and have fun. Be courageous and step out on your faith. When you get older, you especially need to downsize.
Stop being in love with things and fall in love with your brain first and eat good brain foods and take brain supplements, which will help you make better decisions in your life and bring more happiness in your life. So spend money on your insides -- instead of your outsides.
Once you fall in love with your brain, you will have more options and choices in your life. Happiness is an inside job and women need to stop making excuses why they can't buy organic foods and live the lives that they truly deserve.
Some women buy all these beautiful things around them then they have to cry themselves to sleep at night because they are all alone. They don't have anything else but a closet full of expensive clothes.
Some spend hours on the phone gossiping, criticizing and complaining or looking at TV when their homes could literally become learning centers -- where they can empower themselves by reading books, listening to audiobooks, FREE teleseminars, FREE webinars, youtube.com, etc.
You need to put all that sexual energy into something else - a hobby, a business or travel. I have had a business for 10 years so it kept me busy. My business was my companion so I answered only to my business and that's a good feeling -- to have something of value accompany you along the way.
You don't have to have a mate accompanying you. The man I am with now, I have known him for 25 years and he probably should have been the father of my kids so I feel lucky that he came back into my life again.
However, I got with him two years after leaving the city I had lived in for 20 years, Atlanta. Because I had spent a year on the road doing what I really wanted to do and living my dreams, I was ready for him and ready to settle down when he came into my life again.
Again it was me, my business and my happiness that drove me to seek adventure and leave Atlanta. Take a chance in life - nothing is etched in stone. But if you stay in your own little corner -- in your own little neighborhood -- in your own little city, you might not ever meet anyone or see the world.
The goal is to figure out your true purpose and get out there and live it before you leave this earth. Do the things that you were truly put on this earth to do and have fun doing it. Again, nothing is etched in stone in your life and no one can complete you - but you, which means only you can carve out the life that you truly deserve.